This week you wrote a formal submission to the school council on whether behaviour rules should cover students' social media use outside school hours. Now you'll read another student's piece and judge how strong it is. Working through how assessors evaluate persuasive writing builds your ability to apply the same lens to your own work.
Part 1
The Assessor Scorecard for
Persuasive – Formal submission
Strong persuasive submissions present a clear position with logical reasons, address the other side fairly, and speak to decision-makers in a respectful, formal voice. Bullying the reader or ignoring opposition both weaken the case.
Ideas & Content
A clear position supported by logical, specific reasons.
Each reason explains why it matters — what problem it solves or harm it prevents.
Counterarguments addressed with reasoning, not just dismissed.
-
Specific reasoning: not 'it's important' but a reason that names the actual outcome at stake.
Structure & Cohesion
An opening that signals the position clearly.
Body sections that build the case logically, one reason at a time.
A fair section that acknowledges and responds to opposing arguments, then a conclusion that reinforces why it matters.
-
Logical progression: introduce position, build case, acknowledge alternative view, reinforce decision.
Audience & Purpose
Formal register suited to a decision-making body — no slang, no exclamation marks.
Opposing views represented fairly, not dismissed.
Language that treats the reader as an equal who may disagree.
-
Formal register: I submit that schools should…' not 'Everyone agrees they totally should…'.
Language Choices
Precise, confident vocabulary — no vague nouns like 'bad things'.
No hedging or dismissive phrasing that undermines the argument.
Language that respects the reader even while disagreeing.
-
Precise, confident word choice: avoids hedging but doesn't bully; respects the reader even while disagreeing.
Conventions
Accurate spelling, punctuation and complete sentence structures.
No contractions — 'do not' rather than 'don't'.
Proper paragraph breaks and consistent tense throughout.
-
Flawless execution: spelling, punctuation, tense and sentence structure that show the writer took the task seriously.
Part 2
Today’s Marking Targets
Task in one sentence
Write a formal submission to the school council taking a clear position on whether behaviour rules should cover students' out-of-school social media use, with reasoning and a counterargument.
Let’s Focus
Three strands matter most this week: Ideas & Content, Audience & Purpose and Structure & Cohesion. The reasoning decides whether the case stands up. The tone decides whether the council will hear you. The structure decides whether they can follow your argument.
Ideas & Content
Assessors look for a clear position and reasons that support it specifically. Don't just assert that something is good or bad — explain why. What problem does it solve, what harm does it prevent, what benefit does it create? Strong ideas show you have thought through the implications.
What markers scan for
- A sentence that states the position clearly — for or against.
- A 'because' explanation for each reason given.
- Realistic scenarios or examples that back the reasons up.
Score Bands
-
Basic
The position is stated, but reasons are mostly assertions without explanation.
-
Strong
The position is clear; most reasons are supported with explanation and at least one example.
-
Excellent
The position is compelling; each reason is supported with specific explanation of why it would work.
Audience & Purpose
Assessors check whether you maintain a respectful, formal tone for a decision-making body. That means no slang, fair engagement with opposing views, formal register, and an assumption that the reader is intelligent and may disagree. Persuasive writing that loses this respect loses credibility.
What markers scan for
- An opening that states the position respectfully, as a submission to decision-makers.
- Opposing arguments represented fairly and answered seriously.
- Formal vocabulary throughout — no contractions, slang or casual register.
Score Bands
-
Basic
Tone is informal or dismissive; opposing arguments may be brushed aside rather than addressed.
-
Strong
Tone is mostly formal and respectful; opposing views are represented fairly with a response.
-
Excellent
Tone is consistently formal and confident; opposing arguments are addressed thoughtfully throughout.
Structure & Cohesion
Assessors look for clear paragraph purpose and transitions that guide a decision-maker step by step. The submission needs an opening that states the position, body paragraphs that each build part of the case, a section that fairly responds to one opposing view, and a conclusion that reinforces the decision.
What markers scan for
- Opening sentences that signal each paragraph's job in the argument.
- Logical build from paragraph to paragraph, not disconnected ideas.
- The opposing argument signalled clearly and answered, then a conclusion that restates the position.
Score Bands
-
Basic
Paragraph purpose is unclear; the argument jumps between ideas without clear progression.
-
Strong
Each paragraph has a clear purpose; the opposing argument is addressed in its own section.
-
Excellent
Structure is elegant and easy to follow; the opposing argument is fairly presented and thoughtfully refuted.
Now read · Student sample
Should School Behaviour Rules Cover Social Media?
Year 8 sample · \~400 words
Student sample for assessment
Written by a Year 8 student.
To the School Council,
I am writing to submit my view that the school's behaviour policy should NOT be extended to cover students' social media use outside school hours. While I understand the council's concern for student safety, extending school rules beyond the campus creates problems that would actually make the situation worse. First, there is the issue of privacy. If the school monitors what students do in their personal time on personal devices, then there is no space left for students to grow independently. School is where students learn and develop skills, but home and personal time are also important. When students get home, they should be able to trust that their own choices are their own. Many students already feel stressed by school expectations; adding monitoring of their personal lives would make that stress worse. It's important that young people have some space that belongs to them. The second reason is a practical problem. Social media involves millions of interactions every day, and most of them are not serious. Students have conversations with friends that are just jokes or silly comments that don't actually hurt anyone. If every single post can become a school issue, then students will not be able to express themselves naturally. They will become too afraid to say things, even things that are completely innocent. This is not healthy development for teenagers who need to learn how to communicate and express ideas in different contexts. I recognise that some people believe that the school needs to take action when students behave badly online, especially if it affects other students or staff. However, there are already laws that protect people from serious harm online. If something is genuinely harmful—threats, bullying, harassment—there are legal consequences. The school does not need to also punish students under a school rule for the same behaviour. That would be double punishment, which is not fair. Also, schools can already address situations where social media posts directly affect the school community or classroom environment; they don't need to expand the rule to cover everything students say online. In summary, extending behaviour rules to social media would invade student privacy, prevent natural development and learning, and create unfair double punishment for serious behaviour. The school already has the tools to address genuinely harmful situations. The best path forward is to trust students to develop responsibility in their personal lives while the school focuses on what it does best: education. Yours sincerely, A Year 8 student
