This week you wrote a needs statement for a mentoring program, explaining what would actually help you. Now you'll read another student's statement and decide how strong it is. Looking at someone else's work sharpens what you spot — and gives you moves to use in your own writing.
Markers look for honest, specific writing that tells the reader exactly what you need and why — no flattery, no generic statements, just practical detail.
Structure & Cohesion
A clear order: overview, each need with reasons, then a close.
Ideas that connect and build on each other.
No fragmented or disorganised writing that leaves the reader unsure.
-
Organisation: presents needs in logical order; transitions connect ideas clearly.
Task in one sentence
Write a needs statement for the mentoring program explaining what would genuinely help you as a Year 7 student — honest, specific, and clear.
Audience & Purpose
Strong writing this week shows the coordinator exactly what you need so they can match you well. The tone is honest and direct, not flattering or rehearsed. You explain not just what you need but why it matters to you. The reader should finish knowing who to pair you with.
What markers scan for
- Needs stated clearly so the coordinator can act on them.
- An explanation of why each need matters to you.
- A direct, honest tone — not rehearsed or vague.
Score Bands
-
Basic
Needs mentioned but vague or generic; little explanation of why they matter; the reader is unclear.
-
Strong
Clear needs with some explanation; honest tone; the coordinator could match the student.
-
Excellent
Specific needs with strong explanation of why each matters; the coordinator can match with confidence.
Language Choices
Strong writing this week is precise. Replace vague words ('help', 'support', 'advice') with language that says exactly what you need. Use concrete examples. Avoid phrases that sound like a form or something you think you should say. The coordinator needs your real situation, not a template.
What markers scan for
- Specific nouns replacing generic words like 'help' or 'support'.
- Concrete examples of real situations or challenges.
- A voice that sounds like the student — not borrowed.
Score Bands
-
Basic
Vague language throughout; the writing sounds generic or rehearsed; needs stay unclear.
-
Strong
Generally specific language; some concrete examples; voice sounds more real; needs come through.
-
Excellent
Precise language throughout; examples show the real situation; voice is honest; needs are unmistakable.
Student sample for assessment
Written by a Year 7 student in Glen Waverley, Victoria, Australia.
I'm writing to explain what would actually help me in a mentoring relationship this year. I've been thinking about what I struggle with and what would make a real difference, and here's what I've come up with. I need someone who understands what it's like to move schools. I moved from Brisbane last year, and while I've made friends, I still feel outside things sometimes. I don't talk about it much, but when conversations happen about primary school memories or knowing people outside school, I'm the person who doesn't know anyone. A mentor who moved schools would get this. They wouldn't try to fix it; they'd just understand that I'm still finding my place. I also need help with academic confidence. I'm not struggling with marks, but I second-guess myself a lot. I'll finish an assignment and immediately think it's not good enough. In classes where I don't know the teacher well yet, I'm quiet because I'm worried my ideas are obvious or wrong. I need someone who can help me see that my work is actually okay, and that speaking up in class isn't as risky as my brain tells me it is. Last thing: I'd want someone who gets that Year 7 is busy and I'm figuring out what matters. I don't need a mentor to sit with me and do homework. I just need someone I can text sometimes if something comes up — maybe advice, maybe just knowing someone older gets the same worries I do. Flexible is important. I wouldn't want to commit to a structured meet-every-week thing right now.
