Y06W21PA - Two Ways of Handling Difficulty

This week you wrote a comparative analysis of two students who reacted differently to a cancelled swimming carnival. Now you'll read another student's piece and decide how strong it is. Each module sharpens how you spot careful comparison — and helps your own.

Part 1

The Assessor Scorecard for

Comparative – Comparative analysis

Markers look for comparisons built from specific details about each person, with thoughtful notes on what their choices reveal.

Ideas & Content

Real moments and actions taken from each person's story. Details that show what their choices reveal about them. Real similarities and differences, not surface labels.

  • concrete examples from: each person's response help readers understand the comparison.

Structure & Cohesion

Ideas grouped so the comparison is easy to follow. Transition words signal a shift between the two people. A clear plan — either describe both then compare, or alternate.

  • transition words like: In contrast', 'Both', 'However', 'Similarly' connect the two responses.

Audience & Purpose

A thoughtful tone that respects both people. Fair language, not obvious judgement of either. Writing as if helping someone understand the difference.

  • balanced perspective respects: both responses and avoids obvious judgement.

Language Choices

Precise verbs that catch subtle differences. Varied wording, not the same phrase twice. Words that help the reader see the distinction clearly.

  • precise verbs ('reacted': considered', 'pursued') show the difference between responses clearly.

Conventions

Accurate spelling that keeps the reader focused. Punctuation that separates ideas clearly. Sentence lengths varied to keep the analysis lively.

  • punctuation that separates: ideas clearly helps readers follow the comparison.

Part 2

Today’s Marking Targets

Task in one sentence

Compare two students' different responses to the cancelled swimming carnival and explain what each response reveals.

Let’s Focus

Two strands matter most this week: Ideas & Content and Structure & Cohesion. Your details about each student must show what their choices reveal. Your organisation must guide the reader smoothly through the comparison.

Ideas & Content

Strong writing shows real understanding of why each person acted as they did. Instead of saying "Student A was upset," describe what they did or said. Instead of "Student B was calm," show how they thought through the problem. Details reveal character.

What markers scan for

  • Do the details show feelings, not just name them?
  • Can you picture each student's behaviour?
  • Does the writer explain what the choices reveal?
  • Are the comparisons more than surface labels?

Score Bands

  • Basic

    The writer names what each student did but adds little detail.

  • Strong

    The writer gives specific details that show why each student responded differently.

  • Excellent

    The writer uses vivid examples; details reveal character; the reader gains real insight.

Structure & Cohesion

Strong writing guides the reader smoothly. Ideas connect logically so the reader knows when the writer is describing one student, the other, or comparing both. Linking words mark each shift. Related ideas sit together and the comparison builds step by step.

What markers scan for

  • Do paragraphs begin with clear signals about who is being discussed?
  • Does the writer use linking words to shift between students?
  • Are related ideas grouped together?
  • Does the comparison build, not jump around?

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Writing jumps between students with weak transitions; readers can lose track.

  • Strong

    Writing is organised so comparisons stay clear; transitions are smooth and logical.

  • Excellent

    Structure lifts the comparison; ideas are grouped with care; transitions feel seamless.

Now read · Student sample

Two Responses to Bad News

Year 6 sample · \~300 words

Student sample for assessment

Written by a Year 6 student in Footscray, Victoria, Australia.

When the swimming carnival was cancelled, two Year 6 students reacted very differently. This shows us that people handle disappointment in completely different ways. Student A wanted to compete and felt angry when the chance disappeared. Student B saw the cancellation as a problem to solve rather than an ending. Student A's reaction was to stay upset for the entire day. When the news came through during assembly, their face fell. They complained to their friends about how unfair it was that the carnival would not happen. Throughout the day, Student A repeated the same complaint: there would be no chance to prove their swimming ability. By lunchtime, Student A's mood had not improved. They sat alone and refused to join games or activities. The annoyance seemed to grow stronger as the day went on. Student A focused entirely on what was lost. In contrast, Student B heard the same bad news but thought immediately about solutions. Rather than staying upset, Student B approached the PE teacher after assembly. Student B asked, 'Is there another way I can try for the team?' This simple question showed curiosity and problem-solving thinking. The teacher appreciated the attitude and arranged for Student B to swim in a special trial session later that week. Student B's response transformed disappointment into an opportunity. Instead of staying upset, Student B took action. Both students felt disappointed when the carnival was cancelled. This is normal. However, their next choices were different. Student A allowed the disappointment to become anger and isolation. Student B turned the same feeling into motivation to find another way. Student A focused on the loss. Student B focused on possibility. These different responses reveal that how we think about problems matters as much as the problems themselves. Some people see blocked doors. Other people look for windows.