Y06W22PA - When a Friendship Changed

This week you wrote a reflective piece about a time a friendship changed. Now you'll read another student's piece and decide how strong it is. Each module sharpens how you spot honest reflection — and helps your own.

Part 1

The Assessor Scorecard for

Reflective – Reflective piece

Markers look for reflection built on a real moment, with honest thinking about what changed and what it meant.

Ideas & Content

A real moment or period that genuinely shifted your thinking. Reflection on what the experience taught, not just what happened. Honest insight, not vague claims about "learning a lot."

  • honest reflection on: what you learned deepens the piece.

Structure & Cohesion

A clear beginning, middle, and end the reader can follow. A shift in your thinking shown across the piece. Ideas grouped in time order or by theme.

  • chronological or thematic: order guides readers through your reflection.

Audience & Purpose

A voice that sounds like you, sharing something that mattered. A thoughtful tone that invites the reader in. No oversharing and no playing for sympathy.

  • authentic voice that: sounds like you builds connection with readers.

Language Choices

Words that capture small shades of feeling. Showing emotion through detail, not just labels. No dramatic exaggeration — precise wording instead.

  • precise emotional language: shows rather than tells the reader how you felt.

Conventions

Accurate spelling and punctuation that keep the piece clear. Varied sentence shapes that help the reflection flow. Punctuation that supports the thoughtful tone.

  • varied sentence structure: creates natural flow in personal reflection.

Part 2

Today’s Marking Targets

Task in one sentence

Write a reflective piece about a friendship that changed, showing what caused the change and what you understood afterwards.

Let’s Focus

Two strands matter most this week: Audience & Purpose and Language Choices. Your voice must sound real, not performed. Your words must show feeling through detail, not just label it.

Audience & Purpose

Strong writing feels honest and invites the reader in. The writer shares the experience without performing or asking for pity. The tone is thoughtful, not dramatic. A real voice trusts the reader to understand without spelling everything out.

What markers scan for

  • Does the writer sound like a real Year 6 student?
  • Does the voice feel honest, not exaggerated?
  • Is the tone thoughtful without seeking sympathy?
  • Do you feel invited into the writer's thinking?

Score Bands

  • Basic

    The voice feels artificial or too dramatic; the writer seems to be trying to impress.

  • Strong

    The voice is honest and real; you feel invited into the writer's thinking.

  • Excellent

    The voice rings true throughout; readers feel a real connection to the writer.

Language Choices

Strong writing shows feeling instead of labelling it. Instead of "I was sad," the writer describes a small action or thought that reveals the sadness. Words feel chosen, not tired. Each line shows what the moment felt like and what it meant.

What markers scan for

  • Does the writer show feelings through detail, not just name them?
  • Are word choices fresh, not clichéd?
  • Does the language reveal nuance?
  • Do you sense what the moment actually felt like?

Score Bands

  • Basic

    The writer uses general feeling words like "sad" or "happy" without showing them.

  • Strong

    The writer uses specific words to show feelings and insights; nuance comes through.

  • Excellent

    The writer's words are precise and vivid; feeling shines through every choice.

Now read · Student sample

When My Friendship With Mia Changed

Year 6 sample · \~250 words

Student sample for assessment

Written by a Year 6 student in Coburg, Victoria, Australia.

Mia and I were best friends in Year 4. We did everything together. We sat together at lunch, picked each other for group work, and spent whole weekends at each other's houses. But in Year 5, something shifted. It happened slowly at first, so slowly that I almost didn't notice. At the start of Year 5, Mia joined the netball team and made new friends on the court. I was not interested in netball. I preferred art and staying inside at lunch. Mia began spending more time with her new teammates. She would rush off to training and come home late. When we hung out, she talked mostly about netball. I felt like I was being pushed aside. For a while, I was angry. I thought Mia was being unfaithful to our friendship by having other friends. I would sit alone at lunch and think about how much things had changed. But then something happened that made me realise I had been unfair. One afternoon, Mia asked me to come and watch her netball match. I went, expecting to be bored. But I watched her run and jump and play with such joy that I understood something: Mia having other friends didn't mean she was leaving me behind. It meant she was finding parts of herself that she loved. After that day, our friendship felt different but not broken. We still talk, but not every day. We still care about each other, but we are not always in the same spaces anymore. This is okay. I learnt that friendship doesn't always stay the same shape. Sometimes it grows sideways instead of deeper. Sometimes having space makes a friendship stronger, not weaker. And sometimes understanding someone else's joy is a way of loving them.