Y05W43PA - Should Phones Be Banned at School?

This week you wrote a letter to your principal about a phone rule. Now you'll read another student's letter and decide how strong it is. Looking at other writing helps you spot moves you can use.

Part 1

The Assessor Scorecard for

Persuasive – Letter (formal)

Markers look for letters with a clear stand, good reasons, and a respectful tone. Check each strand below to see what strong work looks like.

Ideas & Content

Reasons that link to real school issues — focus, fairness, learning. Details that back each reason, not just big claims. A stand a principal would take seriously.

  • Real reasons: exact, fitting reasons backed by detail that a principal would trust.

Structure & Cohesion

An opening that states your stand. A middle where each paragraph builds one reason. A closing that asks for action or sums up your view.

  • Logical paragraphs: a clear stand built so each paragraph holds one reason.

Audience & Purpose

A tone that fits a letter to a principal. Language that's respectful but not stiff or scared. Words that show you know who you're writing to.

  • Principal tone: respectful language that fits a formal letter to a principal.

Language Choices

Even, careful word choices — not slangy or over-the-top. Words that show you've thought hard about the rule. No big claims you can't back up.

  • Formal word choice: even word choices that fit a formal letter.

Conventions

Correct letter layout — greeting, body, sign-off. Spelling and punctuation that hold up the formal tone. A pattern of mistakes lowers the mark — one or two does not.

  • Letter rules: correct layout, spelling and punctuation all the way through.

Part 2

Today’s Marking Targets

Task in one sentence

Write a letter to the principal sharing your view on a rule that students must hand in phones each morning.

Let’s Focus

Two strands matter most this week: Language Choices and Ideas & Content. Even word choices keep your tone formal but real. Strong reasons show you've thought hard about the phone rule. Together, they make your letter sound thought-through to a principal.

Language Choices

Strong letters this week use even, careful words. They sound thought-through without sounding stiff. Word choices show you've thought hard about the rule. Your tone fits a letter to a principal — respectful but real.

What markers scan for

  • Pick even words — not slangy, not over-the-top.
  • Keep a respectful tone all the way through.
  • Build sentences clearly so each line is easy to follow.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Words are mostly formal but slip into casual phrases here and there.

  • Strong

    Words are formal and exact — sentences are built clearly throughout.

  • Excellent

    Words are precise and confident — every sentence holds the formal tone.

Ideas & Content

Strong letters this week give real reasons. Maybe focus, maybe fairness, maybe learning — but each one shows you've thought about the rule. Reasons should feel honest and thought-through, not made up.

What markers scan for

  • Pick reasons that link to real school issues — focus, fairness, or learning.
  • Back each reason with a detail or example.
  • Keep reasons honest, not just made up to fill space.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Reasons are given but stay general — the principal isn't fully convinced.

  • Strong

    Reasons are exact and link to school issues — the principal can see your thinking.

  • Excellent

    Reasons are rich and link to school issues — your thinking is clear and careful.

Now read · Student sample

Should Phones Be Banned at School?

Year 5 sample · ~150 words

Student sample for assessment

Written by a Year 5 student in Maribyrnong, Victoria, Australia.

Dear Principal,

I oppose the proposed phone ban at school. While I understand some concerns about distraction, a complete ban is too extreme and creates unnecessary difficulties for students and families.

Students rely on phones for legitimate reasons. Parents contact students about pick-up changes or emergencies during the day. A complete ban prevents important communication when we need it. Additionally, some students with disabilities depend on phone applications for learning support and accessibility features. A blanket ban discriminates against these students unfairly.

The premise that phones cause distraction is oversimplified. The actual distraction comes from inappropriate use during learning time. A more effective approach would be teaching students when phone use is acceptable, rather than eliminating access completely. This develops self-regulation skills that matter beyond school.

The proposed ban treats all students as inherently untrustworthy. Year 5 and 6 students need opportunities to demonstrate responsibility, not rules that assume we will automatically misuse technology.

I respectfully request that the school implement a more nuanced approach that distinguishes between appropriate and inappropriate phone use at school.

Yours sincerely, A Year 5 Student