Y06W40WR Improving the Canteen Ordering System

Part 1

How to Write

Transactional – Feedback letter

A transactional report presents findings, problems or recommendations to a specific audience who will use the information to make decisions. It is written clearly and objectively, with evidence and practical suggestions. The tone is professional and constructive — focused on solutions, not just complaints.

  • Ideas & content: Focus on specific, observable problems or findings rather than general impressions. Each issue you raise should be supported by a clear explanation of its impact.
  • Structure & cohesion: Organise your report logically — introduce the context, address each issue separately and close with recommendations. Use clear paragraphing throughout.
  • Voice & audience: Write professionally and constructively. Avoid a complaining tone. The reader needs information and solutions, not venting. Stay factual throughout.
  • Language choices: Use precise, practical language. Be as specific as you can. Use formal vocabulary and control your tone carefully.
  • Conventions: Spell accurately. Use correct punctuation for a formal document. Keep sentences clear even when describing complex problems.

Common pitfalls: Raising problems without suggesting solutions — a useful report is constructive. Writing in a tone that sounds like a complaint rather than a professional assessment, which reduces the impact of your findings.

Part 2

Your Task Plan for Today

The brief

Question: Write your feedback to the canteen manager. Identify the specific problems you or other students have experienced with the ordering system. Explain clearly why each problem matters and suggest what improvements would fix them. Write in a constructive tone that makes it easy for the manager to act on your feedback.

Stimulus: Your school canteen has introduced a new online pre-ordering system for student lunches. After three weeks of use, the system has several problems that are affecting students - some orders are not being received, the menu does not always match what is available and there is no way to flag allergies or dietary needs. The canteen manager has asked for written feedback from students to help fix the system before the end of term.

Task Analysis: This task asks you to write a feedback letter based on the prompt. Your response should demonstrate clear thinking, good organisation and writing appropriate for a Year 6 reader. Focus on showing your understanding through specific examples and thoughtful details.

Quick Plan

Before you write, plan:

  • Your main message — state it clearly
  • Key details the reader absolutely needs
  • Tone and format — what style suits this task?
  • How to close — strong, clear and direct

BLUF line

Lead with your main point—don’t warm up slowly. The reader needs to understand immediately what this is about and why they should care. Hook them in the first sentence.

Key details to include

Provide all the specific information your reader needs: names, dates, amounts, locations, next steps. Don’t make them guess. Be clear and well-organised.

Format rules

Follow the conventions of your form. A letter has a greeting and closing. A notice uses headings. A proposal has sections. The right format builds trust.

Closing line

End strongly with a clear next step or final thought. For a letter, a respectful sign-off. For a notice, contact information. Don’t just stop.