This week you wrote an informative piece about what stress does to the body. Now you’ll read another student’s piece and judge how strong it is. Working through how assessors evaluate informative writing about complex physiological processes sharpens your ability to apply the same lens to your own work.
Part 1
The Assessor Scorecard for
Informative – Informative piece
Informative writing explains ideas so readers understand them. Strong pieces select relevant material, organise it logically, and use precise language to make complex ideas accessible.
Ideas & Content
Informative writing lives or dies on what the writer chooses to include.
Assessors reward writers who select the most relevant material, discard what doesn’t matter, and explain ideas in enough detail for readers to understand.
Look for explanation of why something happens, not just what.
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Relevant facts: are selected to explain the body’s stress response clearly.
Structure & Cohesion
Informative writing needs clear shape.
Assessors reward organisation that gives each paragraph a job and lets readers follow the logic without getting lost.
Cohesion comes from repeating key terms, using pronouns clearly, and signposting where the explanation is going.
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Clear shape: moves through causes, processes and effects in a helpful order.
Audience & Purpose
Informative writing has one job: help readers understand.
The writer must pitch the explanation at the right level — not so simple it patronises, not so complex it confuses.
Tone should sound authoritative but accessible, anticipating what readers will find puzzling.
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Reader understanding: drives every explanation and keeps complexity accessible.
Language Choices
Language in informative writing must do precise work.
Assessors reward specific verbs, precise nouns, and clear relationships between ideas.
Abstract or vague language weakens explanation — readers need concrete reference points.
Avoid words like ‘thing’ or ‘really’; use words that earn their place.
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Exact wording: explains scientific ideas without vagueness or overcomplication.
Conventions
Conventions matter because they help readers follow complex ideas.
When conventions break down, readers lose track.
Assessors expect consistent accuracy.
Strong writing uses grammar to show relationships between ideas — especially complex sentences carrying cause and effect.
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Technical control: keeps complex information readable and trustworthy.
Part 2
Today’s Marking Targets
Task in one sentence
Write a three-paragraph informative piece of around 330 words explaining the body’s stress response, the difference between short-term and chronic stress, and the effects of sustained stress.
Let’s Focus
Three strands matter most this week: Ideas & Content, Structure & Cohesion and Language Choices. Ideas & Content decides whether you explain the physiology accurately and select what actually matters. Structure & Cohesion decides whether three paragraphs read as one explanation. Language Choices decides whether your precise vocabulary lets readers see what cortisol and adrenaline actually do.
Ideas & Content
Assessors reward writers who select the most relevant notes and explain them so they make sense. Explain the stress response (what it is, what it does), then distinguish short-term from chronic stress, then explain what chronic stress causes. Readers should finish understanding why sustained stress is harmful, not just knowing that it is.
What markers scan for
- Does the writer explain what adrenaline and cortisol do, or just name them?
- Is there a clear distinction between short-term stress (the response works) and chronic stress (the response harms)?
- Does the explanation reach why sustained stress causes long-term damage?
Score Bands
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Basic
Lists facts about stress but doesn’t explain cause-and-effect or why chronic stress is different.
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Strong
Explains what the stress response does and why chronic stress causes problems; shows understanding of the material.
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Excellent
Explains the mechanism clearly, distinguishes short-term from chronic with precision, and shows why this matters.
Structure & Cohesion
Assessors reward writers who make the three-paragraph structure work. One paragraph explains the stress response. One distinguishes short-term from chronic. One explains effects of sustained stress. The challenge is linking these so they feel like one explanation, not three separate facts — through repeated key terms and connecting phrases.
What markers scan for
- Does each paragraph have a clear topic and build logically toward understanding sustained stress?
- Are there transitions or repeated terms — ‘stress response’, ‘chronic stress’ — that help readers move forward?
- Does the piece read as one continuous explanation rather than three separate notes?
Score Bands
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Basic
Three paragraphs, but they feel separate; the reader has to work to see how they connect.
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Strong
Three paragraphs with a logical progression; the reader can follow why chronic stress follows from the stress response.
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Excellent
Clear structure with strong transitions; the piece feels like one continuous explanation.
Language Choices
Assessors reward writers who use precise language to explain what happens in the body. ‘Adrenaline increases heart rate’ is clearer than ‘adrenaline makes your heart beat faster’. ‘Chronic stress suppresses immune response’ beats ‘chronic stress makes your immune system bad’. Active verbs and specific nouns let readers see the process.
What markers scan for
- Does the writer use precise verbs — release, suppress, impair — or vague ones like does, makes, happens?
- Are sentence patterns varied, or does the same structure repeat across the piece?
- Do specific nouns replace vague placeholders like ‘thing’ or ‘stuff’?
Score Bands
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Basic
Uses vague language; sentences follow the same pattern repeatedly; readers struggle to see what is happening.
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Strong
Uses mostly precise language and varies sentence structure; the reader understands the process.
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Excellent
Precise, varied language that makes the physiological process clear and easy to follow.
Now read · Student sample
What Stress Does to the Body
Year 9 sample · \~250 words
Student sample for assessment
Written by a Year 9 student in Frankston, Victoria, Australia.
Stress is what the body does when it faces a threat or demand. When someone experiences stress, two things happen at once: adrenaline and cortisol flood through the body. Adrenaline makes the heart beat faster, raises blood pressure and gives the body extra energy. At the same time, cortisol raises blood sugar and shuts down digestion and immune response. This is called the fight-or-flight response because it prepares the body to either face the threat or run away from it. In the short term, this response is useful—it helps the body react quickly to danger. But short-term stress and chronic stress are different. Chronic stress happens when the stress response keeps activating over and over without enough time to recover. Instead of helping the body, chronic stress starts to damage it. The constant release of cortisol and adrenaline wears down the immune system, making it weaker. Chronic stress also affects the brain: the prefrontal cortex (the part that helps us think clearly) gets impaired, so it becomes harder to make good decisions. Long-term stress messes with sleep too, which makes everything worse because sleep is when the body repairs itself. The effects of sustained stress build up over time. When someone stays stressed for weeks or months, they become more likely to get cardiovascular disease, their immune system gets weaker, and they are more at risk of anxiety and depression. Adolescents are even more affected because their brains are still developing and are more sensitive to stress hormones. The good news is that there are ways to reduce the damage: exercise, good sleep, spending time with people you trust, and mindfulness all help the body manage stress better.
