This week you wrote a formal letter of application for a part-time position. Now you'll read another student's letter and judge how strong it is. Working through how assessors evaluate formal application letters builds your ability to apply the same lens to your own work.
Part 1
The Assessor Scorecard for
Practical – Letter of application
A strong application letter balances confidence with humility and personalisation with professionalism. The writer must show they understand the role, connect their experience to it, and convince the reader they will be reliable.
Ideas & Content
Specific skills named and linked to what the role requires.
Details about this particular business — research is visible.
No generic claims that could apply to any job.
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Specific detail: details about the business, the role and your relevant experience.
Structure & Cohesion
A clear shape — opening position, interest in the business, skills, next steps.
Each section flowing logically into the next.
A closing that points to action without being demanding.
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Clear progression: opening position, interest, skills, next steps.
Audience & Purpose
Clear understanding of what matters to someone hiring.
Evidence that this person understands the role and the business.
Signs of reliability and genuine interest, not just any job.
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Business-owner perspective: showing you understand what matters to someone hiring.
Language Choices
Professional but not stiff — confident without arrogance.
Enthusiasm without sounding desperate.
Active verbs and ownership of experience — 'I developed', 'I learned'.
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Tone: confident, professional, genuinely interested.
Conventions
Correct letter format — addresses, date, salutation, body, closing.
Flawless spelling and punctuation — errors suggest carelessness.
Clear paragraphing and controlled sentences throughout.
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Format and accuracy: correct letter structure, error-free conventions.
Part 2
Today’s Marking Targets
Task in one sentence
Write a formal letter of application for a part-time position at a local business, explaining what draws you to it and the relevant skills you would bring.
Let’s Focus
Three strands matter most this week: Audience & Purpose, Structure & Cohesion and Language Choices. Audience & Purpose decides whether the letter feels genuinely suited to the business. Structure decides whether the application is easy to follow. Language Choices decides whether the writer sounds professional, capable and specific.
Audience & Purpose
Strong writing this week shows clear understanding of the business owner's perspective. The writer has researched the business and mentions specific things they've noticed. They connect their experience to what the role needs and convey both competence and genuine interest.
What markers scan for
- Specific mention of the business — name, location, reputation, values.
- Explicit connections between the writer's experience and the role.
- A tone that conveys confidence and genuine interest.
Score Bands
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Basic
Addresses the business but the tone is generic — could apply to almost anywhere; limited evidence of research, sounds like a form letter.
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Strong
Shows research and specific interest in the business; connects some experience to the role and demonstrates a professional tone.
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Excellent
Clear research evident; explicit connections between skills and what the business needs; tone shows confidence, professionalism and genuine interest.
Structure & Cohesion
Strong writing this week uses the formal letter structure to make the application persuasive. The opening states the purpose, the body explains genuine interest and relevant skills, and the closing leaves the owner with a clear reason to consider the applicant. Paragraphs should not blur together.
What markers scan for
- A clear opening that states the role or opportunity.
- Separate paragraphs for interest in the business and relevant skills.
- Logical order from purpose to evidence to closing request.
- Formal greeting and sign-off supporting the structure.
Score Bands
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Basic
The letter has some formal parts but the order is unclear or the evidence is not separated well.
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Strong
The application follows a clear formal structure, with logical paragraphs and a purposeful closing.
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Excellent
The structure feels polished and strategic; each paragraph builds the applicant's case and guides the owner smoothly.
Language Choices
Strong writing this week uses professional vocabulary without sounding fake. The writer chooses active verbs that show reliability and contribution, avoids casual phrasing and connects skills to the business. The language should make the applicant sound mature enough for the role.
What markers scan for
- Professional vocabulary suited to a job application.
- Active verbs showing experience, reliability and willingness to learn.
- Specific links between skills and the business's needs.
- Avoidance of casual language, slang and contractions.
Score Bands
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Basic
Language is understandable but generic or too casual; the applicant's strengths do not sound specific.
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Strong
Language is professional and mostly specific, with clear verbs and relevant vocabulary that support the application.
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Excellent
Language is polished, specific and confident; word choices create a mature, credible impression throughout.
Now read · Student sample
A Formal Letter of Application
Year 8 sample · \~250 words
Student sample for assessment
Written by a Year 8 student in Hawthorn, Victoria, Australia.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to apply for the junior assistant position advertised on your website. I believe I have the skills and commitment this role requires, and I am genuinely interested in joining your team. I was drawn to this position because of the values your business demonstrates. Your shop has a reputation in the local community for quality and customer care, and I respect the way you've positioned your business around these principles. I've visited your shop several times and noticed how thoughtfully the space is presented and how genuinely staff members engage with customers. This approach appeals to me, and I believe it aligns with how I prefer to work. I have experience that is directly relevant to this role. In the past year, I've taken on increased responsibility at home and school: managing my own schedule, following through on commitments and maintaining high standards in whatever I do. I'm a careful listener, which helps me understand what people need. I'm reliable—I show up when I say I will and complete tasks thoroughly. I take pride in presentation, whether that's my own appearance or the appearance of a space I'm responsible for. While I don't have paid work experience, these qualities are what the role requires, and I'm confident I can develop them further in this position. I'm available to start on weekends immediately and can provide references from my school. I would welcome the opportunity to discuss how I can contribute to your business. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, [Signature] [Name]
