Y07W22PA - Brought Together Again

This week you wrote a short story about two characters brought together after avoiding each other. Now you'll read another student's story and decide how well the history and the encounter land. Looking at someone else's work sharpens your own.

Part 1

The Assessor Scorecard for

Narrative – Short story

Markers look for stories with specific scenes, believable characters, and clear pacing. Strong work makes readers care about what happens and feel the stakes the character faces.

Ideas & Content

History between characters feels real and earned. Why they've been avoiding each other is shown — not just told. The encounter reveals something true about them. No flat meeting or invented backstory dropped in.

  • Stakes: the reader understands why this moment matters.

Structure & Cohesion

Situation is set up quickly and clearly. Tension builds through the encounter, not around it. Ending feels earned, even if questions remain. Reader always knows where they are in time and place.

  • Momentum: clear beginning, developed middle, purposeful ending.

Audience & Purpose

Whose perspective we follow is set up clearly. Tone stays consistent across the scene. Language helps the reader feel present, not distant. Reader follows the emotional journey easily.

  • Engagement: readers follow the character's perspective clearly.

Language Choices

Specific dialogue, gesture or physical detail over flat lines like "they felt awkward." Word choice reveals character and builds atmosphere. Dialogue sounds real and pushes the story forward. No summary stand-ins for real moments.

  • Specifics: exact details rather than general statements.

Conventions

Correct spelling, consistent tenses, varied sentences. Dialogue formatted properly with clear attribution. Sentence variety creates rhythm and pacing. Clean writing keeps focus on the narrative.

  • Clarity: correct mechanics and varied sentence control.

Part 2

Today’s Marking Targets

Task in one sentence

Write a story about two characters who have been avoiding each other and are suddenly brought together by chance.

Let’s Focus

Two strands matter most this week: Ideas & Content and Audience & Purpose. The history between the characters must feel real, and the encounter must reveal something true about them. Readers also need to feel drawn into both perspectives.

Ideas & Content

Strong writing this week develops believable history and authentic character reactions. The writer shows — not tells — why the characters have been apart. The meeting itself reveals something true about the relationship. Markers look for stakes that feel earned and real.

What markers scan for

  • Clear, specific reason the characters have been avoiding each other.
  • Encounter develops naturally from that history.
  • Character responses feel true and believable.
  • The meeting reveals something real about the relationship.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    History is vague; the encounter feels generic or unconnected.

  • Strong

    History is clear; the encounter develops naturally and feels believable.

  • Excellent

    History is richly developed; the encounter reveals real understanding of people.

Audience & Purpose

Strong writing this week pulls readers into the characters' perspectives. Markers look for consistent point of view, clear pacing, and dialogue or action that reveals character. Readers should feel present in the scene and understand the emotional stakes.

What markers scan for

  • Reader knows whose perspective they're following.
  • Dialogue sounds realistic and natural.
  • Scene can be pictured clearly from the page.
  • Reader cares what happens next.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Reader feels distanced; stakes are unclear; perspective drifts.

  • Strong

    Reader is drawn in; perspective is clear; the outcome matters.

  • Excellent

    Reader feels present in the scene; voice is distinctive and stakes feel real.

Now read · Student sample

Brought Together Again

Year 7 sample · \~350 words

Student sample for assessment

Written by a Year 7 student in Kew, Victoria, Australia.

I see him before he sees me. He's standing at the lockers near the gym, and he's grown taller since last year. For three seconds I consider turning around and walking the other way, but Miss Chen is already waving at me from the corridor behind. There's nowhere to go. His name is Jake. We were best friends in Year 5. We did everything together — built forts in his backyard, made terrible videos on his phone, sat next to each other in every class. And then his family moved houses and he switched schools. We promised we'd stay in touch, but we didn't. Not really. A few messages that got further and further apart, and then nothing. Last year he came back to our school, and I didn't know what to say to him, so I said nothing. He didn't try either. He closes his locker and turns. Our eyes meet. He stops walking. I stop too. We stand maybe three metres apart, people moving around us. For a moment, neither of us speaks. He looks older and younger at the same time — the same face I knew, but arranged differently. 'Hey,' he says finally. 'Hey,' I say back. 'I... I tried messaging you,' he says. 'Like, twice. But you never...' He trails off. I feel my face flush. He's right. He did message. I remember seeing his name pop up on my phone, and I opened the messages once and then closed them. I don't even know why. It felt too hard to explain why I'd been avoiding him. 'I know,' I say. 'I'm sorry. I was being weird.' He makes a small sound — not quite a laugh. 'Yeah, well. I was being weird too. I waited for you to say something, and then it felt too late.' Miss Chen walks past us. We both look at her, then back at each other. There's still a lot we're not saying — stuff about why it hurt when he left, why I found it easier not to try. But standing here, I see him actually looking at me, and I realise that maybe weird is okay. Maybe we can just start again. 'You free at lunch?' I ask. 'Yeah,' he says. 'Yeah, I am.'