Y06W43PA - Alone at School

This week you wrote a short story about a character who is suddenly alone at school. Now you'll read another student's story and decide how strong it is. Every module sharpens how you spot strong writing — and helps you fix your own.

Part 1

The Assessor Scorecard for

Narrative – Short story

Markers look for stories that build a believable situation and show how the character responds to it. Check each strand below to see what strong work looks like.

Ideas & Content

A clear situation the reader can picture quickly. A character whose response feels real, not flat. Feelings and choices shown through action, not just told.

  • Believable character response: to the situation they face.

Structure & Cohesion

A setup, a complication, then a resolution. Cause and effect that the reader can follow. Scenes that connect — no sudden jumps.

  • Clear story progression: from beginning through resolution.

Audience & Purpose

Tension that makes the reader want to keep going. A character the reader cares about. Moments that show feeling, not summary lines.

  • Reader engagement through: tension and care for the character.

Language Choices

Vivid words that show the scene, not just tell it. Varied verbs — no "walked" or "said" every line. Language that brings the moment alive for the reader.

  • Vivid, varied language: that brings moments to life.

Conventions

Spelling and grammar that don't trip the reader up. Punctuation placed with care to support meaning. A pattern of mistakes lowers the mark — one or two does not.

  • Accurate mechanics that: keep the story moving.

Part 2

Today’s Marking Targets

Task in one sentence

Write a short story about a character who suddenly finds themselves alone at school and must decide what to do.

Let’s Focus

Two strands matter most this week: Audience & Purpose and Structure & Cohesion. The character's feelings decide whether the reader is pulled in. The order of scenes decides whether the story makes sense.

Audience & Purpose

Strong writing this week pulls the reader into the character's feelings. The fear and loneliness come through clearly. The voice sounds real, not made up. Dialogue feels natural and adds to the emotion. The reader cares what happens next.

What markers scan for

  • Look for feelings shown through action or thought.
  • Notice dialogue that sounds like a real person.
  • Check how the writer builds tension and uncertainty.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Characters feel flat; the reader is not pulled in.

  • Strong

    Character is believable and engaging; the reader cares.

  • Excellent

    Character is vivid; reader is fully engaged; tension feels real.

Structure & Cohesion

Strong writing this week makes the order of events clear. Scenes connect — one moment leads to the next. The reader sees how the character ended up alone and why each choice happens. The ending grows from the story, not out of nowhere.

What markers scan for

  • Notice how the opening sets up the situation.
  • Look for events that happen without a clear reason.
  • Check the resolution flows from earlier moments.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Story jumps between ideas; the reader struggles to follow.

  • Strong

    Clear order with logical steps; cause and effect show through.

  • Excellent

    Story flows with setup, complications, and resolution; cause and effect are clear.

Now read · Student sample

Alone at School

Year 6 sample · \~300 words

Student sample for assessment

Written by a Year 6 student in Coburg, Victoria, Australia.

I woke up and looked at my phone. 8:47 AM. School starts at 8:45. My stomach dropped. I had overslept. I ran down the stairs and told Mum I was late and ran to school. I didn't think about why no one was at the bus stop. I didn't think about why the gates were quiet. When I got to school, the car park was empty. The playground was empty. There were no kids anywhere. I walked through the gates slowly. Something felt wrong. I went to my classroom. The lights were off. No one was there. My heart started beating fast. Where was everyone? I walked through the hallways calling out. 'Hello? Is anyone here?' Nobody answered. I went to the office. The lights were off. I found the janitor in the storage room. 'Are you okay?' he asked me. I told him what happened. 'Everyone is at the excursion to the science museum,' he said. 'Your class left an hour ago. They must have forgotten about you.' I felt embarrassed and alone and a little bit angry. But the janitor was kind. He gave me a seat in the staff room and called my mum. While I waited, I talked to the janitor about school and his job. He told me stories about things that had happened at the school. He made me laugh. When my mum came to pick me up, I felt better. The janitor waved goodbye. On the drive home, Mum said, 'That must have felt scary.' And it had. But I realised something. Being alone for an hour had not been the worst thing. I had found someone kind and had a conversation I would not have had otherwise. I learned that even bad things can have something good in them.