Y06W29PA - The New Student Who Knows Too Much

This week you wrote a short story about a new student whose knowledge unsettles those around them. Now you'll read another student's story and decide how strong it is. Every module sharpens how you spot strong writing.

Part 1

The Assessor Scorecard for

Narrative – Short story

Markers look for stories that shape ideas through character and plot while keeping readers engaged. Check each strand below to see what strong work looks like.

Ideas & Content

A fresh story idea, not a worn one. Characters who sound like real people. A conflict with depth and clear stakes.

  • Original premise that: invites reader investment

Structure & Cohesion

A clear order of events that builds tension. A turning point readers can feel. Scenes that connect smoothly.

  • Sequencing and pacing: that sustains reader interest

Audience & Purpose

Choices about detail, dialogue and tone shaped for the reader. A voice that pulls readers in. Moments that land with feeling.

  • Reader engagement through: voice and choice

Language Choices

Dialogue that sounds true. Description that brings scenes to life. Action verbs that reveal character.

  • Precise and evocative: language that reveals character

Conventions

Punctuation that makes dialogue clear. Paragraph breaks at scene changes. Accurate spelling that builds reader trust.

  • Accurate dialogue punctuation: and consistent spelling

Part 2

Today’s Marking Targets

Task in one sentence

Write a short story about a new student whose unexpected knowledge unsettles others, and show how everyone responds.

Let’s Focus

Two strands matter most this week: Ideas & Content and Audience & Purpose. The premise and characters decide if the story feels real. The pace and voice decide if readers stay with it.

Ideas & Content

Strong writing this week starts with a fresh premise and real characters. The new student should feel distinct. The conflict should feel believable, with stakes readers can sense. Show motives and feelings, not just types.

What markers scan for

  • Details that make the new student feel distinct.
  • A conflict with clear stakes.
  • Dialogue that sounds like different people.
  • Motives and feelings made visible.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Premise feels predictable; character details are thin and the conflict feels generic.

  • Strong

    Premise shows original thinking; characters feel distinct and the conflict is clear.

  • Excellent

    Premise is original; characters reveal depth and the conflict carries real feeling.

Audience & Purpose

Strong writing this week shapes the story for a reader. Pace builds without racing or dragging. The voice stays steady. Key moments carry weight, and the ending feels earned. Readers should care about how it lands.

What markers scan for

  • Pacing that builds tension steadily.
  • Dialogue that moves the story forward.
  • A voice that stays steady throughout.
  • An ending that feels earned, not abrupt.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Pacing is uneven; the voice slips and key moments feel flat.

  • Strong

    Pacing builds steadily; the voice stays consistent and key moments carry weight.

  • Excellent

    Pacing is skilful; the voice is distinctive and the ending feels right and earned.

Now read · Student sample

The New Girl

Year 6 sample · \~300 words

Student sample for assessment

Written by a Year 6 student in Mornington, Victoria, Australia.

Once there was a school called Ashbury Primary and mostly it was very normal. Students sat in rows, teachers handed out sheets, everyone knew what was going to happen next. Then Maya came in September. She had lived in four countries and spoke three languages and she had read every book in the science section of the library before she even got her library card. When Mr Harrison asked the class about the water cycle, Maya's hand went up. Everyone else just listened but Maya said it was more complicated than that. "In some regions the water cycle is disrupted by the way humans pump groundwater," she said. Mr Harrison looked surprised. Some kids looked annoyed. At lunch, Zoe asked her why she was showing off. "I'm not," Maya said. "I'm just answering the question." But nobody wanted to sit with her much. They talked in whispers and said she was weird and too much. Maya sat in the library. She could have got angry or pretended to be someone else. Instead she brought her book to the table at lunch where Ethan was sitting alone. "Can I sit here?" she asked. Ethan looked up. He had been reading about dinosaurs for weeks and nobody at school cared. "Sure," he said. They started talking about the Cretaceous period and Maya asked him actual questions like she really wanted to know what he thought. Ethan had ideas that were kind of interesting when someone listened. They talked about how maybe the asteroid impact happened different ways in different parts of the world. Ethan had never thought about that before. Soon Zoe came over. Then two other kids. They didn't join because they wanted to be cool. They joined because someone was actually talking about something that mattered. Maya was still the new student who knew a lot. But now she wasn't alone.