Y09W44PA - How My Thinking Changed

This week you wrote a reflective piece about a significant change in your thinking. Now you'll read another student's piece and judge how strong it is. Working through how assessors evaluate reflective writing sharpens your ability to apply the same lens to your own work.

Part 1

The Assessor Scorecard for

Reflective – Reflective piece

Reflective writing explores the interior experience of learning and change. It moves beyond describing events to examining what they mean and how thinking evolves.

Ideas & Content

Describe what was once believed and explain why it made sense at the time. Explore what caused the shift: a moment, a person, a text, an accumulation of experiences. Examine what the shift reveals about learning, growth, or your own nature. Avoid 'I was wrong and now I'm right' — explore the complexity of change.

  • Belief context: explains why the old view once seemed reasonable.

Structure & Cohesion

Open by introducing the belief you've moved away from, then explore why it made sense. Describe the catalyst, examine the process of changing your mind, and close with insight. Ideas should connect logically across the arc. Transitions help readers follow your internal journey.

  • Thinking arc: moves from former belief through challenge to changed understanding.

Audience & Purpose

Your audience respects honesty and depth. Invite readers into your experience of changing your mind, rather than convincing them of your current view. Be vulnerable about being wrong and generous toward your former self. Treat past versions with compassion, not attack.

  • Respectful honesty: shares uncertainty and depth without performing confidence.

Language Choices

Use phrases that convey internal experience: 'I realised,' 'it struck me,' 'it dawned on me.' Let specific imagery make abstract thinking concrete. Metaphor and sensory detail help readers feel how the change felt. Avoid clichés like 'I learned my lesson' — convey the actual texture of learning.

  • Realisation language: makes internal shifts visible to the reader.

Conventions

Use first person ('I') and past tense, shifting to present when discussing current understanding. Vary sentence structures to create rhythm and emphasis. Use clear paragraphing, with each paragraph serving a purpose. Spelling and punctuation should feel intentional and well-crafted.

  • Reflective control: uses tense and first person deliberately to track change.

Part 2

Today’s Marking Targets

Task in one sentence

Write a reflective piece examining a significant change in your thinking — what you once believed, what caused the shift, and what this reveals about how thinking develops.

Let’s Focus

Three strands matter most this week: Language Choices, Ideas & Content and Structure & Cohesion. Language decides whether internal experience feels vivid. Ideas decide whether reflection reaches genuine insight. Structure decides whether the journey of change lands coherently.

Language Choices

Language is the vehicle for interior experience. Precise verbs — 'it struck me,' 'I resisted,' 'I began to grasp' — convey emotional and intellectual states. The best reflective language feels honest and particular. When a writer says 'I was reading and suddenly my certainty fractured,' we feel the moment.

What markers scan for

  • Precise verbs that convey internal experience and emotion.
  • Specific imagery or sensory detail that makes thinking concrete.
  • Authentic voice that avoids cliché and greeting-card wisdom.
  • Varied sentence structures that create rhythm and emphasis.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Verbs are generic ('I thought', 'I realised'); internal experience is told rather than shown; clichés are present; sentences are similar.

  • Strong

    Verbs are mostly precise; some specific imagery is present; voice is mostly authentic; sentence variety is evident.

  • Excellent

    Verbs are precise and chosen for emotional effect; imagery is vivid; voice is distinctive; sentence structures vary strategically.

Ideas & Content

Reflective writing succeeds when it explores genuine change with honesty and depth. It investigates why the old belief made sense, what caused the shift, and what that reveals. The strongest reflection asks: what does this show about how I think, and about belief itself?

What markers scan for

  • Clear description of what was once believed and why it made sense.
  • Honest exploration of what caused the change; acknowledgment of triggers or catalysts.
  • Reflection that goes beyond the change itself to explore what it reveals.
  • Self-awareness about the process of change; understanding of complexity.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Former belief is stated but not explored; reasons for change are vague; reflection is superficial; minimal insight.

  • Strong

    Former belief is explained with context; cause of change is identified; reflection explores significance; some insight into learning.

  • Excellent

    Former belief is fully contextualised; the shift is examined from multiple angles; reflection deepens understanding; clear insight emerges.

Structure & Cohesion

A well-structured reflective piece guides readers through the journey of change. It opens with the belief you've moved away from, explores why it held, describes what triggered change, and closes with insight. When structure is strong, readers follow not just what changed but how.

What markers scan for

  • Clear opening that introduces the belief or hints at a shift.
  • Logical progression from former belief through exploration of causes to insight.
  • Transitions that guide readers through the journey of change.
  • A closing that reflects on significance rather than simply ending the story.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Structure is unclear or choppy; progression is hard to follow; few transitions; closing is abrupt.

  • Strong

    Structure is mostly clear; ideas progress logically; transitions connect key ideas; closing reflects on significance.

  • Excellent

    Structure is sophisticated and purposeful; the journey is clear and engaging; transitions are seamless; closing offers meaningful insight.

Now read · Student sample

How My Thinking Changed

Year 9 sample · \~400 words

Student sample for assessment

Written by a Year 9 student.

For most of my life, I believed animals existed for human use. Not maliciously—I didn't think about it deeply. I ate meat, wore leather, went to the zoo, and thought this was normal, neutral, just how the world worked. Animals were background characters in human stories. If they mattered at all, it was instrumentally: they could be food, or entertainment, or a way to learn something. I remember my Year 4 teacher saying 'animals are resources,' and I nodded like that was obviously true.

This belief didn't require evidence. It was everywhere—in my family's choices, in advertising, in the structure of daily life. My parents loved animals; they'd take me to the zoo for my birthday. But somehow the love and the consumption coexisted without contradiction in my mind. I didn't see the cognitive dissonance because I wasn't looking for it. The shift started small. Last year, I watched a documentary about elephant cognition. Not a preachy one—just footage of wild elephants showing recognition, grief, joy. The film didn't argue; it showed. And something about seeing an elephant grieve her dead calf broke something in me. It wasn't an intellectual revelation. It was physical. I remember thinking: she loves her baby the way my mum loves me. That feeling didn't go away. After that, change accelerated. I started reading, watching, thinking. I began to notice—really notice—the animals I'd normalised. The chickens crammed into cages. The leather bag made from something that once ran and felt sun. The way we make animals invisible by not looking directly at what they are to us. And the more I saw, the more I couldn't unsee. This wasn't a sudden conversion. It was more like scales falling from my eyes gradually, until one day I looked down and realised I was complicit in suffering I hadn't wanted to see. The worst part wasn't learning that animal farming is brutal. I think I always sensed that. The worst part was recognising that I'd chosen not to think about it. Now, six months later, I'm vegetarian. But that's not really the point. The real change is in how I see. I can't watch a cow and think 'resource' anymore. I see a being with preferences and feelings and a life that's not mine to take. My old belief didn't fall away because I read a convincing argument. It fell away because I finally really looked at what I'd been taught not to see. I'm not sure what this means about how thinking works. Maybe belief is strongest when we don't examine it. Maybe change happens not through logic but through empathy—through feeling another creature's reality so vividly that the old story breaks. Or maybe I'm just one person who happened to look, and so my mind changed. I don't know if I'll stay vegetarian forever, or if my thinking will shift again. But I know now that what I believe isn't neutral. It shapes the world. And that's a thought I can't go back from.