Y05W35PA - My Expression of Interest for the School Garden

This week you wrote an expression of interest for the school garden. Now you'll read another student's writing and decide how strong it is. Looking at someone else's work helps you spot moves you can use in your own.

Part 1

The Assessor Scorecard for

Transactional – Expression of interest

Markers look for writing that shows you as a real, reliable volunteer. Check each strand below to see what strong work looks like.

Ideas & Content

Real reasons for wanting the role, not clichés. Exact things you could do in the garden. Detail that shows you mean it.

  • Genuine motivation: real reasons and exact detail that show you mean it.

Structure & Cohesion

A clear opening that says why you are writing. Body paragraphs that build on each other. A strong close that shows you will turn up.

  • Logical paragraphs: a clear shape with each paragraph building on the last.

Audience & Purpose

A polite, formal tone — not too casual. Language that fits a real volunteer role. Writing that shows you know what volunteers do.

  • Professional tone: language that fits a formal letter for a volunteer role.

Language Choices

Words that sound sure, not unsure. Formal word choices, not slang. Language picked on purpose for this reader.

  • Confident vocabulary: sure word choices that fit the formal setting.

Conventions

Spelling and grammar that don't trip the reader up. A pattern of mistakes lowers the mark — one or two does not. Clean writing shows you take this seriously.

  • Accurate conventions: correct spelling, punctuation and grammar throughout.

Part 2

Today’s Marking Targets

Task in one sentence

Write an expression of interest for the school garden volunteer program.

Let’s Focus

Two strands matter most this week: Structure & Cohesion and Conventions. A clear shape helps the coordinator follow you. Clean spelling and grammar show you take it seriously.

Structure & Cohesion

Strong writing this week has a clear opening that says why you are writing, body paragraphs that show your reasons and skills, and a close that shows you will turn up. Each part should build on the last.

What markers scan for

  • Open with a clear statement of why you are writing.
  • One clear idea per paragraph — interest, tasks, reliability.
  • Linking words between paragraphs.
  • Close with a line that shows you will turn up.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Some order is there but paragraphs don't link smoothly.

  • Strong

    Clear opening and paragraphs that build on each other.

  • Excellent

    Clear opening, strong paragraphs and a close that ties it together.

Conventions

Strong writing this week has clean spelling, full stops and commas in the right places, and sentences that match up. In a formal letter, clean writing makes you sound reliable.

What markers scan for

  • Spelling is right, even on harder words.
  • Full stops and commas are in the right places.
  • Subjects and verbs match in each sentence.
  • The writing looks proofread, not rushed.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Several spelling or punctuation slips that pull the reader away.

  • Strong

    Spelling and punctuation are right almost all the way through.

  • Excellent

    Spelling, punctuation and sentences are right throughout.

Now read · Student sample

My Expression of Interest for the School Garden

Year 5 sample · ~150 words

Student sample for assessment

Written by a Year 5 student in Kogarah, NSW, Australia.

Dear Garden Volunteers Team,

I am writing to say that I want to be a volunteer in the school garden. I think it is a great idea to grow vegetables and herbs because they are good to eat and good for the earth.

I am a reliable person. I always finish my jobs at home. I am good at helping other people. Last year, I helped in the school canteen every Tuesday. I never missed a day. I want to help the garden the same way.

I can water the plants. I am strong enough to use the watering can. I can pull weeds to keep the garden clean. I can dig holes for new plants if you show me how. I am not afraid of getting dirty. I can work every Wednesday afternoon after school.

I know that gardens need care and attention. When plants are looked after properly, they grow well and make good food. I want to be part of making our garden successful. Thank you for thinking of me.

Yours sincerely, The Year 5 Gardener