Y05W31PA - Improving Our Reading App

This week you wrote an email giving feedback to app developers. Now you'll read another student's email and decide how strong it is. Spotting what works helps you use those moves in your own writing.

Part 1

The Assessor Scorecard for

Transactional – Email

Markers look for emails that name strengths, problems and suggestions clearly and politely. Check each strand below to see what strong work looks like.

Ideas & Content

Real strengths named with a specific example. Problems described with concrete cases — not vague gripes. Suggestions that are clear and could actually be done.

  • Specific examples: concrete examples of what works and what causes problems.

Structure & Cohesion

A clear path: greeting, context, strengths, problems, suggestions, closing. The reader sees why they're getting this email straight away. Each part flows to the next without jumps.

  • Clear organisation: structure that walks the reader through each point in turn.

Audience & Purpose

Polite but confident — your view as a user matters. Balances honest problems with what's working well. Writing shaped so busy professionals will read and act.

  • Inviting tone: polite language that helps the reader listen and respond.

Language Choices

Phrases like "I noticed," "when I," "it would help if." No blame — clear about the impact instead. Language stays helpful, not harsh or pushy.

  • Constructive framing: language that names problems clearly without blame.

Conventions

Clear subject line, polite greeting, proper closing. Spelling and grammar that don't trip the reader up. A pattern of mistakes lowers the mark — one or two does not.

  • Email conventions: correct format, accurate spelling and punctuation that show care.

Part 2

Today’s Marking Targets

Task in one sentence

Write an email to app developers naming strengths, problems and clear suggestions for improvement.

This task asks you to write an email to app developers identifying strengths and problems, then suggesting improvements. In this module, you are focusing on showing assessors that you understand this specific writing challenge and can apply your knowledge to it. You'll explore what makes this particular task demanding and what markers look for when they assess it.

Let’s Focus

Two strands matter most this week: Audience & Purpose and Structure & Cohesion. Your tone decides if the developers listen. Your structure decides if they can act on what you say.

Audience & Purpose

Strong writing this week names a real strength before the problems. Problems are specific, not vague. Suggestions are framed as "it would help if" rather than "you should." The goal is to be heard and to help, not to blame.

What markers scan for

  • Name one thing that works well first.
  • Use concrete examples for each problem.
  • Frame suggestions with "it would help if."
  • Close with an invitation for them to reply.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    The email focuses on problems with no strengths named. Feedback is vague or blaming. Tone may sound critical or unfair.

  • Strong

    Some strengths are named alongside the problems. Problems are identified with some specific detail. Tone is polite and the suggestions are reasonable.

  • Excellent

    Strengths are named clearly before any problems. Problems are specific and based on real user experience. Suggestions are clear, doable and politely framed.

Structure & Cohesion

Strong writing this week uses email conventions — subject line, greeting, opening, body, closing. The body moves from strengths to problems to suggestions. Each point is explained clearly so the reader knows exactly what's being addressed.

What markers scan for

  • Use a subject line that signals the purpose.
  • Open by stating why you're writing.
  • Move from strengths to problems to suggestions.
  • Close with a polite, professional sign-off.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Email parts are missing — greeting or closing. Strengths and problems are mixed together. Readers may struggle to see what is being asked.

  • Strong

    Email parts are present — greeting, subject, closing. Structure moves from strengths to problems to suggestions. Readers see what is being addressed and asked.

  • Excellent

    Email parts are polished and used well throughout. Structure moves clearly through strengths, problems, suggestions. Readers find the email easy to read and act on.

Now read · Student sample

Improving Our Reading App

Year 5 sample · ~100 words

Student sample for assessment

Written by a Year 5 student in Zetland, New South Wales, Australia.

Dear Reading App Development Team,

I've been using your app this term for reading activities, and I wanted to share feedback. First, I really like the note-taking feature. It lets me mark important passages and write my thoughts without marking the book.

However, I've found two problems. The app takes thirty seconds to open a book, which is frustrating during reading time. This makes it difficult to use in class. Second, the search function doesn't work well. When I search for a character's name, it sometimes misses passages where that character appears.

I'd suggest two improvements. Could you speed up the opening time? Could you also fix the search function so it finds all matching passages?

Thank you for developing a tool that helps young people read. These improvements would help students like me.

Yours sincerely, A Year 5 reader