Y05W26PA - What Changed Between Us

This week you wrote a story about two people who clash, then shift. Now you'll read another student's story and decide how strong it is. Spotting what works helps you use those moves in your own writing.

Part 1

The Assessor Scorecard for

Narrative – Short Story

Markers look for stories where a character or situation changes in a way the reader feels. Check each strand below to see what strong work looks like.

Ideas & Content

One clear moment that shows change, not a list of events. Character choices that we can see a reason for. The writer shows why the conflict matters, not just what happens.

  • Showing change: change shown through dialogue, action and small moments, not just told.

Structure & Cohesion

An opening that drops the reader into the character's world. A middle that builds tension or makes things harder. An ending that fits what came before — no sudden stop.

  • Purposeful sequence: events connect so each one feels like it had to follow the last.

Audience & Purpose

A voice and place that feel real, not generic. Stakes the reader can grasp — what each person could gain or lose. Writing shaped so the reader feels it, not just follows the plot.

  • Authentic voice: writing feels real in voice and setting, holding the reader inside it.

Language Choices

Sharp verbs and exact nouns — not "nice" or "good." Dialogue that shows who each character is. Description that paints a picture the reader can see.

  • Sensory precision: exact verbs and sensory detail make each moment vivid and clear.

Conventions

Spelling and grammar that don't trip the reader up. A pattern of mistakes lowers the mark — one or two does not. Full stops and commas placed on purpose, so meaning is clear.

  • Unobtrusive accuracy: accurate spelling and punctuation that support the reader, not distract.

Part 2

Today’s Marking Targets

Task in one sentence

Write a story about two people who clash at first, then shift through being stuck together.

This task asks you to write a story about two people who clash at first, then shift through unexpected proximity. In this module, you are focusing on showing assessors that you understand this specific writing challenge and can apply your knowledge to it. You'll explore what makes this particular task demanding and what markers look for when they assess it.

Let’s Focus

Two strands matter most this week: Language Choices and Ideas & Content. The words you pick show the change between the characters. The ideas you build show why the change matters.

Language Choices

Strong writing this week shows the shift through language, not by telling the reader "they got along." Dialogue, word choice and small details do the work. A pause, a glance or a softer reply can show more than a big speech.

What markers scan for

  • Use dialogue that shows a slow change in tone.
  • Pick moments where words get warmer or more honest.
  • Show one character noticing something new about the other.
  • Use verbs like "softened," "paused" or "saw."

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Language does the basics but doesn't show change. Dialogue is there but reveals little about each character. The story tells us they shifted instead of showing it.

  • Strong

    Language starts to show the change between the two. Dialogue sounds real and reveals each character. Some moments show change through word choice, not telling.

  • Excellent

    Language shows the full shift in the relationship. Dialogue reveals each character and softens as they connect. Details build a feeling of change — warmth, ease or trust.

Ideas & Content

Strong writing this week shows why the two clashed and what changed that. The story explores each character's reason for acting that way and how being stuck together shifted things. The change itself is the content — not the fight.

What markers scan for

  • Show a clear reason why each person clashed at first.
  • Let each character's view be challenged by the other.
  • Make the new understanding feel earned, not sudden.
  • Show one shared idea or feeling they discover.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Conflict happens then ends, but reasons aren't clear. Characters feel flat — one mean, one shy, and that's it. The shift happens, but readers don't see why.

  • Strong

    Each character has a clear reason for clashing. The writer shows why they got each other wrong. Change comes from real moments readers can follow.

  • Excellent

    Each character has real, human reasons for clashing. Readers see fears and views behind each one's actions. The change feels earned through real interaction and shifting views.

Now read · Student sample

What Changed Between Us

Year 5 sample · ~200 words

Student sample for assessment

Written by a Year 5 student in Doncaster, Victoria, Australia.

I had always avoided Marcus. He was the type of person who made cutting remarks and wasn't worth the energy. But when we were paired together for the science project, we couldn't escape each other for three weeks.

The first afternoon was excruciating. Marcus slouched at the desk and made sarcastic comments about my volcano sketch. I felt my jaw tighten. I wanted to snap something back, but instead I focused on organising the materials methodically. He criticized every step I made.

Something shifted on the second day. While I was gathering baking soda, Marcus asked a genuine question about the vinegar reaction. I explained what would happen, and he actually listened intently. When he suggested we time the eruption precisely, his voice wasn't sharp anymore. He seemed genuinely interested in getting it right.

We worked together through the week. He'd arrive with specific ideas that were usually decent. I'd take notes and refine them carefully. Sometimes we laughed at the mess we made. We didn't become best friends by Friday. The presentation went okay. But as Marcus packed his backpack after it was done, he said something like, "That was pretty decent, working together." I nodded. Maybe things had changed between us or maybe not. It was hard to tell if anything was actually different or if we were just less annoyed at each other. By the end, I didn't really know what had happened between us.