Y05W08PA - Wild Weather Explained

This week you wrote an explanation of how storms and floods form. Now you'll read another student's text and decide how strong it is. Seeing someone else's writing helps you spot what makes a process clear — then use those moves in your own work.

Part 1

The Assessor Scorecard for

Explanatory – Explanation text

Markers look for explanations that show how a process works and why it matters. Check each strand below to see what strong work looks like.

Ideas & Content

Accurate facts about how the process forms and why it's dangerous. Cause and effect shown — one thing leading to the next. Enough detail that the reader pictures what's happening.

  • Cause and effect: exact facts about the process with clear cause-and-effect links.

Structure & Cohesion

A clear opening that names the process being explained. A step-by-step order showing how one stage leads to the next. Linking words like "as a result" or "this causes" between ideas.

  • Process sequence: a clear order with opening, steps and ending that show the whole process.

Audience & Purpose

Words a Year 5 reader could follow — no expert jargon. Tricky words explained step by step, not assumed. Real examples that link to the reader's own experience.

  • Reader match: explanations pitched to the reader with examples they can picture.

Language Choices

Verbs of cause — "causes," "leads to," "creates." Technical terms defined the first time you use them. Short, varied sentences that keep meaning clear.

  • Causal precision: exact words with cause-and-effect verbs; tricky terms are explained.

Conventions

Spelling that's correct all the way through. Full stops and commas placed to make meaning clear. Sentences that vary in length without losing the reader.

  • Grammar control: correct spelling, punctuation and grammar with varied, clear sentences.

Part 2

Today’s Marking Targets

Task in one sentence

Write an explanation about how storms and floods form and why they are dangerous, using the facts most useful to your reader.

You have been given eight facts about weather events, but you have space for only three body paragraphs of explanation. Your task is to select the facts that will best help readers your age understand how storms and floods form and what makes them dangerous. You are not writing instructions or step-by-step directions; you are explaining a process. You might organise your three paragraphs by weather type (one about storms, two about floods), or by concept (one about formation, two about danger), or by consequence (how they form, why they are dangerous, and what happens after). Whatever you choose, each paragraph should explain one aspect fully and show how it connects to the others. Your opening should introduce weather emergencies and your closing should reinforce why understanding these processes matters.

Let’s Focus

Two strands matter most this week: Ideas & Content and Structure & Cohesion. An explanation only works if you pick the right facts and order them to show cause and effect. The wrong facts lose focus. The wrong order hides the process. Both must work.

Ideas & Content

Strong writing this week picks three facts that work together — one on how storms form, one on how floods happen, and one on why they're dangerous. The facts should connect: one leads to the next. Missing the danger half would leave the explanation incomplete.

What markers scan for

  • Three facts that together explain both forming and danger.
  • Facts that link as a process, not a random collection.
  • Cause and effect shown — one fact leads into the next.
  • An explanation that fully answers the task.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Three facts appear but some don't fit and cause-and-effect links are weak.

  • Strong

    Three facts cover forming and danger, with cause and effect made clear.

  • Excellent

    Three facts fit together to explain forming and danger with sharp cause-and-effect links.

Structure & Cohesion

Strong writing this week opens by naming the topic, then uses three body paragraphs — one for each fact or aspect. Each part is fully built before moving on. Linking words like "as a result" or "this causes" show how ideas connect. The closing points to why it matters.

What markers scan for

  • An opening that names the topic and what's being explained.
  • Three clear paragraphs, each on one part of the process.
  • Linking words like "as a result" or "this causes" between ideas.
  • A closing that points to why the process matters.

Score Bands

  • Basic

    Opening and closing exist but body paragraphs blur together and links are weak.

  • Strong

    Three paragraphs are clear and fully built, with links showing cause and effect.

  • Excellent

    Three paragraphs flow smoothly with sharp cause-and-effect links and a strong closing.

Now read · Student sample

Wild Weather Explained

Year 5 sample · ~150 words

Student sample for assessment

Written by a Year 5 student in Marrickville, NSW, Australia.

Thunderstorms form when warm moist air rises rapidly into the atmosphere. As this air rises high into the sky, the water vapour in it cools down and condenses into clouds. This process releases energy that powers the storm and creates the dark, heavy clouds we see before a thunderstorm arrives.

Lightning happens when electrical charge builds up between the clouds and the ground. This buildup creates a path of electricity that flashes down to earth. Lightning is extremely dangerous because it carries millions of volts of electricity. People outdoors during storms can be struck by lightning and seriously hurt.

Flash flooding occurs when heavy rainfall from storms exceeds what the ground can absorb. Surface water builds up rapidly and begins to flow as a powerful force across the land. Flash flooding is particularly dangerous because it can occur within minutes of the rain starting. The moving water has tremendous force and can sweep away vehicles and cause people to drown.

River flooding happens differently. It develops more slowly when rainfall upstream raises river levels over days or weeks. This type of flooding affects a wider area but gives people more time to prepare and evacuate.